za_lee: (shion & nezumi)
For a long time, as it went into 2nd and 3rd and 4th season, I've wanted to revisit this gorgeous, gorgeous anime: the tranquil scenery and character design, the gentle movements of wind and slight that are so reminiscent of Miyazaki, the incredibly sad commentary on memory and our dying connections with alternative forms of life.... I had avoided it because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take the heartbreak.

Nearly three years later, I've taken the plunge back on an equally sleepless, restless night...when everything is clamoring and I just want to be emotionally spirited away. On the brink of summer, with no energy left for remaining responsibilities...I'm going to rekindle my visitation with Natsume...and keep a journal here of my findings.

Hopefully, as I get better at this, I'll start putting up screenshots and eventually make an icon for the purpose, too. For now...just some ramblings...

2 moments:

- Nyanko-sensei notes that youkai don't bother much with gender. This warrants some rehashing of posthumanism's ties with gender-queerness and woman or the feminine as an inherent category of queer. (what investment could we possibly have in straightness?)

- "She didn't call me today, either? I'm lonely. Even more so than before! Give it back! Give me back my name!" Umph. What else is there to say? The exchange of names, the formation of bonds, and the ensuing loneliness. What you give and take in this act is more than words. This is the new iteration of Saint-Exupery's episode with the fox and the wheat fields. A spiritually invested articulation of broken promise, unanswered expectation. If I never knew you....

And the recurring moment that will always take my breathe away is Natsume returning the names...those words flying from his lips, what he pays to return those broken promises, so heavy with the weight of unanswered expectation. The concentration of his feline eyes, so uncharacteristically nestled in that gentle, gentle face and hair. 

Maybe I should consider taking a Japanese spirituality and animation course in the future...it seems like it might be tons of fun.

And so begins the journey through latent tears...

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za_lee

June 2013

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